Thursday, February 10, 2011


new england confectionery company
makes wafers and sweethearts. 

and every february,
even though i despise valentine's day,
(hello hallmark, it's nice to meet you. vomit.)
i always haul my cookies down to the nearest drug store 
and pick up bags and bags of necco sweethearts. 
i love necco sweethearts.

necco has decided, 
after 100 years or so, 
that they should change the super delicious awesome sweetheart recipe.


now the sweethearts are brighter, 
and have lamer flavors.
(who wants strawberry, grape, green apple, lemon, orange or blue raspberry, 
when they could have cherry, banana, orange, lemon, grape and wintergreen? 
those flavors are so much cooler.)

and they have all sorts of new gimmicks:
twilight sweethearts.
tart sweethearts.
chocolate sweethearts.
sparkly sweethearts.

but these new sweethearts suck.
big time. 

i mean you open the bag and they smell.

and the flavors suck.
a lot. 

i miss the old necco sweethearts. 
so much so that i have been looking at the necco website,
and sending not so cryptic emails 
about how upset i am about the new sweethearts,
and how i want large amounts of necco wafers to ease the pain. 

less than a week later, 
and this was sitting on my desk.

thanks jb. 
you are a rockstar.

and it will take me 75 years to eat these all.

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