Thursday, March 5, 2015

2015 -- week 5 of #projectlife -- a rambling on privacy and conceit

i feel like i'm about to by hypocritical, hyper critical, and long-winded with this post, but please bear with me; it has a point. i think.

when i started to write this post, i began by talking about how rcg and i are fairly private people. because as i see it, beyond this blog and our instagram photos we have very little presence in the social media world. we don't post daily updates about the weather or the traffic or the jerk that cut in front of us at the grocery store; instead, we're tagged in things. we participate in life with others and they make sure everyone else in the world knows we're alive. it's good, we like it, it makes less work for us. but we also hate it. we like getting off the grid, being an unknown entity, forcing people to ask "where were you last weekend/week?" and we've been trying to migrate more and more towards that and away from social media. rcg has taken it to the point that he only follows bands, restaurants, and magazines on facebook. right now, my fb account seems to be our only lifeline to the world, and i may follow in his footsteps soon. (we apologize in advance if we miss the big events in your life! text us-- we'd love to hear all about them!)

but at the same time, we/i have this blog. hello, this blog is all about our life. kind of defeats the point, don't you think?

but therein lies another, deeper problem. when i started this blog, the point was for me to have an easy to reference place where i could store my ice cream recipes, and a way for my parents to see what i was up to. but since then it's evolved, as all things must, and it's become more of a "this place i just visited was awesome, you should visit it to, here are some pointers" blog, mixed in with my little projects. i love the travel side of this blog. i wish i could spend my days driving around, traveling, eating, taking pictures, and getting paid. unfortunately, that's a young, hot girl's game. so i do my travel posts and mix in a bit of our everyday life with photo a day and project life posts. and that's where i have the biggest problem.

despite my original misgivings, i love doing photo a day; i've found a way to make it more about the photography and therefore more interesting. and i enjoy doing these project life posts because it allows me to have a record of our lives, which i love, but do you love it? part of the reason that rcg and i have started to unfollow people on facebook is not because we don't love you, we do, we love you all very much, but because we don't really care about the small minutiae of your everyday. (no offense.) and by the same token, we assume you don't care about our everyday lives. it's seems fair: most people's lives are pretty boring, mine included, to the point where the person living it barely cares about it, so why should anyone else care?

this is something i've been struggling with for a while now. this blog feels so very self-centered and selfish. why would anyone be interested in reading my thoughts on various subjects? why would they be interested in seeing pictures of my food, my cats, or even my vacations? why do i continue to post my photo a day photos or my project life pages knowing that rcg and i are the only people who are getting any real joy from these posts? how conceited. and also, how very public our life has become as a result, despite our efforts to keep our business to ourselves. it's madness. so i'm looking for something new. some way for my blog to live on, without you all being bored to tears of our life, without us feeling exposed, all while continuing the fun travel and photography posts that i dig.

suggestions welcome.

ps. this post initially went in a very different direction -- i worked on it this morning, thought it looked good but wanted one more read through when i got home from work. i came home reread it, decided it was all rubbish and didn't say what i was really thinking, and wrote this instead. my apologies.
pps. if you are into the travel posts, i promise i will have some coming your way soon -- i'm in the middle of looking for another job, an online class, learning a second language, etc. etc., the list goes on, and have been seriously remiss in my blogging. i will get back to it soon; i promise!

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